Thank God that in the summer of 1986 I met a group of Christians from Hong Kong. They invited me to join their gospel meeting and I accepted the Lord Jesus as my personal savior. In the beginning, what really attracted me to believe in God was the Love that I felt in the church family. I found real joy and peace in my heart. I had a sense of belonging, love and acceptance.
However, in 1989 one of my aunts died from stomach cancer. She was only in her forties. Three years later her son (my cousin) who was really close to me died from brain cancer when he was only 22. These two events really made me sad. From that time on, I began to have doubts about God and I left the church. Why did God allow this to happen to those that I loved? After my high school graduation, I wanted to search for other things that will fill my heart, because after leaving God, I felt a void in my heart. For three years, I hung out with Asian gangs/drug dealer friends. I would spend most of my time in billiards/arcades/casinos/ bars and night clubs. I was tempted to become a drug dealer many times. I remembered seeing piles of money and drugs before my eyes. They would tell me that if I become a drug dealer, I could make enough money to retire in three or four years. Somehow at that moment, I felt someone was holding me back not to join. After leaving my drug-dealing friends, I started to pursue other religions, I guess I was holding a grudge against God and I just felt really lost. I spent time studying Buddhism, Taoism and started going to temples and later enrolled in Tai chi and Chi gong classes. I wanted in search of spiritual enlightenment and good health. I ended up spending around ten years studying these two arts but in the end, I didn’t find any spiritual enlightenment or my health getting any better. I suffered from depression and vertigo, dizziness of the head.
From 1995 to 2002 I was involved in three major car accidents. Each time I was taken to the hospital by an ambulance and on each occasion, the car was a total loss. Miraculously, every time I was not seriously hurt, but only suffered minor soft tissue injuries. It was after my third accident that I began to wake up. I started to realize that the reason I wasn’t harmed was not good luck or good fortune but it was the Lord, the almighty God protecting me. At that moment, I really wanted to go back to church and God. I realized that God had never left me all long. Everyone that I met failed and disappointed me but God’s love for me remained the same all through the years. That same year, I was able to go back to the church that I left. My church family welcomed me back, and my heart felt God’s love deeply. Through many failures, disappointments and experiences, I had come to realize that life is not about me. I have come to understand that if I want to know my true meaning in life, I must begin with God. I was created by Him and for Him and until I understand this, life will never make sense. I now understand that what happened to my aunt and cousin is part of all the different experiences that we would go through in life; God’s love is always the same, and He is here to go through life’s ups and downs. Besides Him, nothing else could fill the void in my heart.
I hope you can get to know the only true God and accept His Salvation. You can start to enjoy what an abundant life He has prepared for you!